Come Down to Earth, Shelby!

Hi everyone!

Thanks for coming clean, Liz. I too have not been great about writing this month and I hope to get better as thing "calm" down here...is that possible with two young kids, a full time job, and a BF (as Aiden now refers to Scott). And yes...the pants were sent to Miss!
So how am I, you might ask??? My head is spinning a bit, I must admit. So much change. I know it is all good and that eventually I will figure out how to keep so many balls in the air. I really feel happy quite a bit. Scott has been AMAZING for my attitude! I feel like a supermodel every time I am with him and in his eyes, I am the only one who is ever in the room...even in a crowd. He is absolutely smitten with me and I am every bit as smitten with him! God...it feels so good to feel 16 again! However, I did get scolded last night by my friend, Berta for text messaging him too much during girls night out. She actually yelled at me and told me to "stop acting like a teenager!" I have no intention of stopping...Who knows what will happen, but for now, I am doing my best to stay in the moment. Scott has a way of ripping me back to the present whenever I get ahead of myself. I feel completely at peace when he is around and wraps his huge, tattooed arms around me...like nothing bad could ever happen! AHHHHHHH!
Scott and I have all sorts of great plans this summer. He is such a planner, like me (Myers-Briggs "J") that we even lay in bed naked and made a list (yes...a list!) of everything we want to do together. How super hot is that! Ha. So this summer, we are going to Riverton in July, Park City in August, and Puerto Vallarta in November (maybe San Diego in Sept???). And in between, lots of little day trips here and there when I don't have the kids.
And there is my biggest challenge...learning to accept that my kids will not be with me 100% of the time. I have many feelings about being a single mom...anger at Bryan, quilt when they are not with me, frustration when I am alone with them. This too, I hope, will work itself out and I guess I might be dealing with these feelings forever.
Final interesting item...Melissa say McDreamy in Wyoming last weekend at his brother's wedding. He asked about me, I guess, and Melissa launched into this thing about me having a boyfriend. According to Melissa, Joshua got a little jealous acting and immediately asked "Well, what does this guy do???" And then added..."I am moving to Denver." He then proceeded to hook up with some 20-year-old. Is he a dog or what? I have to admit, I would love if he did feel a bit of jealousy and I also have to admit that if I actually ever saw him in Denver, I would probably swoon a little. But, I wrote him an e-mail last month (I think I just had to test the waters with that one last time) and when he responded, the only thing that went through my mind was "he is SO BORRRRING!" So funny how what you think you want is not sometimes what you really need. I will always be in debt to Joshua for making me feel amazing when I needed it most. I reiterated this to him in my e-mail...how much I appreciate him for that. He doesn't respond when I say those things. I think he is a bit emotionally immature.
Guess that is it. My kids are in Oregon with Bryan's mom this week and I have to admit that I am enjoying the break and trying to settle into my new job. Scott and I are going to this amazing bed and breakfast in Evergreen on Friday night, so I look forward to that. I am surprising him with this whole romance package...cozy cottage with a fireplace, rose pedals on the bed, champagne, strawberries, chocolate, and a smokin hot babe!!! I am going all out. It feels great to do something for someone who actually does things for me too!
I love you guys and think about you often!
Shelby